Cats & Dogs

by

debbie lynn elias

With "Cats & Dogs," director Lawrence Guterman attempts to bring to the screen, a visualization of what pet owners everywhere have known for centuries - there is an underground war between cats and dogs over the ruling of the roost...and the world. Whether a dog lover or cat fancier, after seeing this film, the one thing you won’t dispute is that be it top dogs or conniving cats, either one would be a more fitting species to rule the world than insipid, inept, clueless humans like Professor and Carolyn Brody, irritatingly played by Jeff Goldblum and Elizabeth Perkins.

Set in Anytown, U.S.A., the premise of the film is simple. A parody on those beloved James Bond spy thrillers, unbeknownst to humans, cats and dogs live in a complex, technologically sophisticated world that would rival the capabilities of the CIA, KGB and James Bond at their heights of greatness. Unfortunately, or fortunately, our furry friends only allow humans to see them for the animals that they really are - trash can rooting, hydrant peeing, frisbee catching, furniture scratching, hairball coughing, balls of fluff and fur. And yes, at times much to your dismay, Guterman tries to make sure we see and hear every animal cliche known to mankind.

Easily one of the worst performances ever given by Jeff Goldblum, Professor Brody is a scientist working out of his home, conducting research for a vaccine which may which eradicate man’s allergies to dogs. Naturally, the dogs want Brody to succeed in his research as this will then make them the pet of choice and hence, domination of the world. Likewise, the cats not only want to prevent Brody from completing his research, but want to create their own formula that will make humans allergic to dogs, thus once again restoring cats to their position as supreme rulers of the world as they were in ancient Egypt.

With an intelligence network headed by Mastif (appropriately and effectively voiced by who else but gun-toting Charlton Heston himself), monitoring efforts uncover the cats’ plan, masterminded by that nefarious Persian, Mr. Tinkles. Hilariously, maniacally and fiendishly voiced by Sean Hayes of "Will & Grace" fame, Mr. Tinkles is one of the main reasons to stay in your seat for the entire 83 minutes of the film. Headquartered in the mansion of his decrepit dying master, who strangely resembles Dr. Strangelove, Mr. Tinkles amasses an elite team to attack the Brody home and destroy the formula. With Tinkles’ his right hand cat, Calico, voiced by Jon Lovitz, parachuting ninja cats with glowing green eyes (used of course for attacks requiring "night vision") and a Russian accented Russian Blue who coughs up hairball bombs, some of the best mixes of live animals and digital animation brings action and espionage to new heights. Tippett Studios are responsible for the creation of the Russian Blue and as usual, their work doesn’t disappoint.

On the dog front, Mastif, through a top notch dog intelligence group headed by his trusted agent, Butch (voiced by Alec Baldwin, who redeems himself somewhat for his inadequate portrayal of Jimmy Doolittle in "Pearl Harbor") sets up a plan to infiltrate the Brody home with a new puppy for young Scott Brody. The puppy, of course, will be an undercover agent assigned to protect the formula at all costs. Due to a mix-up, the puppy agent, a naive little beagle named Lou (adorably voiced by Tobey Maguire) who yearns for adventure and excitement but has no experience or skills in espionage and is happier playing frisbee with Scott, is taken under Butch’s wing. Although untrained and previously unaware of the magnitude of the intelligence network, as pet owners everywhere will relate to, Lou’s innocence and heart prove to be his biggest allies in his fight against Mr. Tinkles and his squadron.

Definitely one of the highlights of the movie, Mr. Tinkles gives new depth to side-splitting laughter when dressed in frilly and ridiculous outfits created for him by the household maid, comically played by Miriam Margolyes. As Tinkles’ appropriately proclaims, "Evil does not wear a bonnet!" Rule of thumb here - dress up Barbie, not the cat.

And yes, despite the shenanigans and animal slapstick, Guterman does give us that "awwwww" factor necessary to every animal movie. With humans oblivious to the true capabilities and actions of these beloved canines and felines throughout the film, a tear will undoubtedly come to your eye when, in a very poignant moment, one of the animals speaks to a human and the human can hear and understand.

What "Cats & Dogs" sorely lacks in plot, dialogue and human performance, it makes up for with anthropomorphism aided by visual and special effects. Technologically mind-boggling special effects have gone to new heights combining animated heads and faces on actual animal bodies with such precision and realism, you’ll be asking yourself, "Is it live or is it Memorex?" The computer generated animal lip-synch is so uncannily perfect you may find yourself doing a double take with your own pets at home each time they open their mouth.

"Cats & Dogs" is meant to be entertaining and for the most part, is. Ignore the humans, embrace the animals and watch the fur, and fun, fly! And fear not - no animals were harmed in the making of this movie.

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