Film Critic to the Culver City Observer and over 132 Publications Worldwide including: The Observer, Inc., John Schimmenti, Inc., CCN, Inc.,
Santa Monica Observer, Inc., Beacon-Times, Inc., Columbus-Register, Inc., and a Host of Others
Catwoman
by
debbie lynn elias
Once looking deader than a doornail, Patience is suddenly alive, and trying to figure out what happened (not to mention why she is suddenly sleeping on the ceiling rafters, gulping milk, eating tuna, etc.), she seeks out the advice of a crazy old cat lady who confirms what the audience (and any comic book fan) already knows; Patience died and was resurrected by the cats, in particular one named Midnight who had a particular affectation for Patience even before her untimely demise. Without question, Patience accepts the explanation as gospel truth. And we go downhill from here.
Incognito as Catwoman, using her new stealthy super powers of strength, speed and prowess akin to a cat, she sets out to discover her killers and expose the Beau Line for its hidden dangers, all the while becoming romantically involved with a certain police detective named Tom Loan who is more intrigued with investigating crimes involving a mysterious feline than he is with Patience. On the upside though, it seems that our little Patience may have gotten a bit of a mischievous streak injected in her by the cats and as Catwoman she walks that fine line between jewel thief and super hero which is about the only thing that adds some interest to a hackneyed script. (Based on some of her antics, I wouldn't be surprised if my cats aren't the ones responsible for that!)
Written by the team of John Brancato, Michael Ferris and John Rogers based on a story by Theresa Rebeck, Brancato and Ferris, this is a prime example of too many cooks in the kitchen. The script is beyond cartoonish to the point of being buffoonish. Taking off in a myriad of directions, one can almost segregate which portions of the script were written by each individual and then slapped together with soggy wet cat food with no sense of continuity or adhesion. What makes it worse, is the intensity and seriousness that Berry plays Patience/Catwoman. Like one would readily accept resurrection by a cat without batting an eye or chasing a mouse. Puh-lease!
Berry, who is a talented actress, sadly resorts to T&A exposure here rather than honing her acting chops or exhibiting anything that resembles the talent we saw in "Monsters Ball" or "The Dorothy Dandridge Story." And the chemistry between Berry and Benjamin Bratt fails miserably. Bratt, who steps in as Detective Tom Loan, is enjoyable enough to watch (as is Berry), but again, the character is unbelievable and the "police work" disingenuine, especially considering most of the audience is familiar with Bratt's work as a law enforcement officer in both "Law & Order" and "Miss Congeniality." He lacks the earnest approach here that he has exhibited in other roles, which given the script is appropriate, but which falls short and seems improbable when pitted against the seriousness of Berry. And let's not forget Sharon Stone as Laurel Hedare, wife of cosmetics magnate George Hedare. In case she has forgotten, someone needs to tell Stone she is not the same sultry vixen from "Basic Instinct." Were it not for what appears to be extremely good lighting, one would think she was in need of the Beau Line anti-aging cream. The lighting differentials for Stone are so great that you find yourself forcibly looking for the wrinkles that are being filtered away. A big casting highlight however is Frances Conroy as the crazy cat lady Ophelia. A delicious turn for a delightful lady!
Director Pitof whose background is primarily in visual effects, is heavy handed with tracking shots and use of the narrative while completely missing the mark on the film as a whole. The work of editor Sylvie Landra, a long time associate of Pitof, only adds to the film's confusion and disjointedness. On the other hand, but for possible one set, the quality work of production designer Bill Brzeski is wasted on this film.
And I would be remiss to not give kudos to the stuntmen and women on this film. Given the high volume action sequences, their work here is unparalleled. Ignore the story, just watch the stunts!
"Catwoman" - makes me want to go me-ooooooooowwwwwwwwww. It can't slink from theatres fast enough for me.
Halle Berry: Patience Phillips/Catwoman Benjamin Bratt: Tom Lone Sharon Stone: Laurel Hedare Frances Conroy: Ophelia
Directed by Pitof. Written by John Brancato, Michael Ferris and John Rogers based on a story by Theresa Rebeck, Brancato and Ferris. Based on characters by Bob Kane. A Warner Bros. Picture. Rated PG-13.