Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star

by debbie lynn elias

With his latest directorial effort, "Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star", Sam Weisman answers the question posed by his last film, "What's the Worst That Could Happen?" Sorry to say, but it's hard to imagine too much that's worse than sitting through this uneven, contrived big screen version of People magazine's "Where Are They Now?" column.

35 year old Dickie Roberts was once the hottest child star on the air. Starring in a ratings hit called "The Glimmer Gang", Dickie coined and capitalized on the phrase "Nucking Futs." Unfortunately, as we have all know, it's very rare that a child star grows up to be an adult star and Dickie is no exception. Now working as a parking valet at Morton's, Dickie is desperate to return to acting. Auditioning before producer Rob Reiner (who plays himself) for the "role of a lifetime", Dickie is perfect for the part. There's just one problem - Reiner needs a "normal" guy and Dickie is anything but "normal." Dickie is "nucking futs. Photos © Copyright 2003

But being "nucking futs" has its advantages. It lets you come up with hair-brained schemes outside of the norm - like hiring a family in order to start your life from scratch going from childhood to adulthood so you can learn to be "normal." (Obviously Dickie hasn't visited my family.) Enter the Finney family and its slimey patriarch George who jumps at the chance to earn an easy $20,000.00 by taking Dickie in and "raising" him. (A bargain at half the price. My brother Ed would probably want $50,000.) Too bad he didn't tell Mrs. Finney she just gave birth to a third child. Too bad George pretty much cuts and runs leaving mom holding the bag.

Produced by Adam Sandler and written by "Saturday Night Live" veteran Fred Wolf together with the film's star, David Spade, one would expect side-splitting hilarity. Sadly, such is not the case. Starting off as a dark comedy with great potential, the film takes a downward spiral (much like Dickie's career) as it erratically shifts gears into sappy sweetness, bouncing from implausible sketches to warm fuzzy moments of family bonding that are irritatingly out of synch with the potential for great comedic set-ups and sketches lost, much like the career of a former child star. Disappointingly, director Weisman who has brought us such gems over the years as "George of the Jungle" and episodic television like "Moonlighting", "Who's the Boss", "Brooklyn Bridge" and "Family Ties", can't seem to overcome the shortcomings of the script or the performance of David Spade (who dominates screen time), resulting in a production that seems more appropriately designed as a straight to video or movie of the week.

Spade, who has repeatedly failed to achieve the same level of comedic skill he exhibited during his six years on SNL, holds true to form here in his portrayal of Dickie. Seemingly on the edge of a great performance but never quite delivering, Spade comes across as merely trite. Supporting cast members Doris Roberts and Edie McClurg, however, are, not surprisingly, wonderful and wonderfully funny.

But all is not lost. For all you children of the 70's and 80's, there are plenty of reasons to see "Dickie Roberts". To name a few, Willie Aames, Danny Bonaduce, Dustin Diamond, Leif Garrett, Corey Feldman, Maureen McCormick, Barry Williams, Erin Murphy, Alyssa Milano, Emmanuel Lewis and even California gubernatorial candidate Gary Coleman, who pop up throughout and then come together for a film ending homage to child stars that is an absolute delight. Thanks to the talents of editor Roger Bondelli, this clip is a must see. It's just too bad you've got to sit through the film itself to get to it.

David Spade: Dickie Roberts Craig Bierko: George Finney Scott Terra: Sam Finney Jenna Boyd: Sally Finney Mary McCormack: Grace Finney Paramount Pictures. Directed by Sam Weisman. Written by Fred Wolf and David Spade. Rated PG-13