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The Country Bears
by
debbie lynn elias
With the opening of this week’s
latest summer diversion, "The Country Bears," Disney stockholders need
not ask any longer why their holdings have diminished so in value. Just see this
film for the answer. Once a stalwart "must see" attraction at
Disneyland, but recently retired to make way for that other chubby little cubby,
Winnie the Pooh, the Country Bears should have stayed as a cute, entertaining,
15 minute live action jamboree rather than attempt 90 minutes on the big screen.
Although "cutesy" and the only G-rated film of the summer, I doubt
that "Country Bears" would hold the interest of either of my nephews,
Matt and Mark, who are more critical than their aunt when it comes to film.
"The Country Bears" is
the story of a young cub named Beary Bearington, adopted by humans at birth but
for whatever reason has gone through life not realizing that he is a bear and
not human. Seems his human brother is the only one who accepts that reality and
uses it to antagonize Beary at every turn, eventually convincing Beary that his
human family is really not his true blood relation. A big fan of the once
renowned singing group, The Country Bears (who naturally fell victim to the
evils of rock ‘n roll - honey, money, and more honey), a heartbroken Beary
runs away from home, setting out on a cross-country journey to find the Country
Bear Hall (the Grand Ole’ Opry of Bears), home to his idols, and in the hope
of discovering "that special something" and his own history and
heritage, not to mention maybe hooking up with the band. But alas, the Bears
have scattered to the four corners of the wind and Beary has just one more
disappointment to face and conquer.
Along the way, however, Beary not
only meets up Fred, once harmonica player to the Bears but now working as a
movie studio security guard, but also runs into Reed Thimple, evil banker and
land developer, who wants to destroy Country Bear Hall. Determined to save the
hall from the wrecking ball, Beary and Fred concoct a scheme to get the Bear
band members back together for a benefit concert designed to raise the
$20,000.00 needed to save Country Bear Hall. Needless to say, getting
non-speaking rock ‘n roll band members back together is no easy task and Beary’s
efforts fall prey to one adventure after another as he finds his heroes on the
down and out side of life - the "one-string thang" master, Tennessee,
is now a marriage counselor; lead guitarist Ted is a wedding singer; and fiddle
playing Zeb is nothing more than a bear drunk on honey. And of course, everyone’s
favorite bear, Big Al, is along for the ride, but he has been relegated to
groundskeeper at Country Bear Hall.
In what we hope is a spoof
crossing "This Is Spinal Tap" with "Behind the Music",
"The Country Bears" does have some humorous moments as well known 21st
Century music legends appear as themselves discussing the influence The Country
Bears had on their careers. Sorry, but not even in my wildest imagination can I
see The Country Bears influencing Elton John, Don Henley, Brian Setzer, Queen
Latifah, Bonnie Raitt or Willie Nelson (okay - well, maybe Willie Nelson). A
high five, however, does go to the movie soundtrack which capitalizes on the
featured musical talents with songs penned by John Hiatt and Brian Setzer and
performed by the likes of Raitt.
Excellent casting here by Ruth
Lambert. In addition to the superstar cameos, we’ve got one of the all time
perennial evildoers, Christopher Walken, who is ideal as Reed Thimple, not to
mention my old friend, Alex Rocco, as Rip Holland. Voice casting, crucial here
as in the summer’s big kid flick - "Stuart Little 2" - is superb
with the ever-talented Brad Garrett as Fred, Diedrich Bader as Ted, James Gammon
as Big Al and that oh-so-talented Haley Joel Osment as Beary Barrington. Bader
also does double duty as human police officer Cheets and is, as comes as no
surprise, an absolute scream. Stepping up to the mike for the Country Bear
songfest, however, we get some of the most talented voices around, including Don
Henley as Tennessee, John Hiatt as Ted and Bonnie Raitt as Trixie St. Claire.
Director Peter Hastings and those
wondrous wizards at Jim Henson’s Creature Shop deserve gold medals for their
work with the animatronic bears. Rather than sell out to computer generated
imagery, Hastings opted for the "real thing", tugging at our memories
and heartstrings with those talking bears we all so vividly recall watching in
our youth (okay, okay - and some of us in our not-so-youth).
Despite the superior technical
skill and stellar cast, this is not a concept that cries for 90 minutes of
screen time. And while I admit that I am one of the first to push the envelope
in favor of the imagination and the strange and unusual, even I had problems
with bears in a human world with no one even batting an eye. And I hate to say
it, but if they choose to live in the human world, the bears really need to get
some more fashionable clothing. If a 2 inch mouse can be stylish, there’s no
excuse for a six foot bear not to look just as good.
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